Clearly, author Dick Dickley never had kids, because when he was asked to write an alphabet book for children with low self-esteem, nobody expected this!
This is a book for children with low self-esteem. Why is it not recommended for actual children, then? Because this book is designed to GIVE children low self-esteem, not cure it. From “A is for apple, you airhead,” to “Z is for zebra, you zero,” each page is beautifully illustrated and slightly offensive. Fans of Go the F**k to Sleep will appreciate Dick Dickley’s rowdy version of the alphabet.
” It’s educational and insulting at the same time. I love it. This would be a great gift for newly expecting parents who are tired of reading the same lovey-dovey fluff over and over. It would also be a great gift for someone you don’t like very much.”
– Warren G, wrapper *
(* Disclaimer: Warren G is a guy who hates punctuation and works at Dick’s local gift shop that refused to give him his full last name. He is not the same person as the famous West Coast rapper who coincidentally also goes by Warren G.)
About the Author:
Dick Dickley was once asked by a children’s charity to donate money. His response was, “I decided not to have kids. I can’t think of a better contribution to the world than that.” Here at Futurist Publishing, we are inclined to agree. In fact, at the office Christmas party last year, Dick’s Secret Santa convinced all the staff to slap him across the face for his present. Unsurprisingly, he loved it. Part of all sales from this book will go to a charity designed to keep decent people away from Dick Dickley. Thank you for your support.